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TALENT NEWS.
VOL. 2. TALENT, OREGON, NOVEMBER 15th, 1893. No. 20.

The TALENT NEWS is published the 1st. and 15th. of each month.
EDWARD ROBISON EDITOR.

SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
One year................ 25 cents
Six months.............. 1/4 of a dollar,
Three months............ Two bits.

Entered at the Talent Post Office as second
class mail matter.


UNCONSCIOUS HUMOR.

  To our way of looking at things, Gov. Pennoyer's thanksgiving proclamation reads as if it had been written by Mark Twain or Bill Nye. Aside from giving himself a little notoriety by setting apart a day other than the one fixed upon by the President of the United States, he introduces a bit of sarcasitico-humorous instruction to his people to the effect that we should upon that day give devout thanks "to Almighty God for the blessings he has bestowed upon this commonwealth during the present year;" that "God has been most beneficent to our state and nation," but ''unjust and ill-advised congressional legislation" has upset the Almighty's purposes and a few rich rascals have gobbled up all the good things intended for the poorer classes; therefore the latter, while thanking the the Most High for his great goodness, should devoutly implore Him to depose the president and the congress of the United States and to see that silver is restored to its rightful place as full legal tender money, etc. Varily our Governor is a humorist with out knowing it.


  State secretary McBride don't take kindly to having the records of his office examined by representatives of the Oregon Independent; so that Populist journal naturally draws conclusions which are not very flattering to the secretary.
  Any public official who is not willing -- more than willing -- to have the records of his office inspected by friend or foe lays himself open to just suspicion.
  None but the guilty would fear such examination.
  We hope the Independent will get there all the same and draw the record on this "self-ordained autocrat" and lay it before the public.  The Independent declares that Oregon has a mighty scaly set of public officials, and the joke of it is it has no difficulty in proving it.


ANSWER TO MATRIMONIAL.
Now, my lady, here is your chance;
Here is a boy who loves to dance.
I have brown eyes and curly hair;
I want a girl sweet tempered and fair.

I belong to the Alliance, I'd have you know well;
If you guess who I am, be sure you don't tell.
I have no riches nor golden store,
But a true heart to love thee,
And that is worth more.

My age is not quite twenty-eight;
I hail from a good old eastern state.
Your ad. I saw in the Talent News 
And answered quickly so not to lose.

Now, dear little darling, if my offer you take,
Answer at once for I cannot wait.
Let your answer appear in the next Talent News
And tell me true if it's I that you choose.
Yours Faithfully.
                            E. P.
  Note -- Matrimonial advertisements are inserted free in the News but the resulting correspondence must be conducted through its columns, for the instruction and entertainment of our young readers.
Ed.
Try Us For Job Printing.
[side 2]
LEANIN' ON THE FENCE.
Leanin' on the fence,
  Chattin' with a neighbor,
Givin' rein to sense
  On the rights o' labor,
Swappin' off ol' jokes,
  Airin' what is in us,
Rippin' up the folks,
  That we think agin us.
Often it gits hot,
  Things are said that rile us.
Then, as like as not,
  Temper's apt to spile us.
But there's no alarm,
  For a guard to screen us
From the touch o' harm
  Is the fence atween us.
Talkin' over votes
  And the whims o' thinkers,
P'inting out the motes
  In a neighbors blinkers;
Leanin' on the fence,
  That is life, my brother,
Chunks o' common sense
  Tradin' with each other.
--Dobohoe's Magazine.

  A blue cross on the margin of the paper indicates that your subscription has expired. A prompt renewal cheereth ye editor muchly. 
CALL ON
TAYLER
THE FOOT FITTER,
For Foot Fitting Shoes,
MEDFORD,  OREGON.
Just arrived some very up to date styles.
CALF SPRING HEEL SHOES FOR LADIES.
SICK SHOES DOCTORED.

  We submit the following to the pupils in the higher department of the Talent -- or any other -- school, as an excellent test of pronunciation. Let each pupil read it carefully, then refer to the dictionary and note the number of mistakes made.
  It can then be submitted to smart uncles and aunts, and a right jolly good time can be had taking note of their blunders.
  "A sacrilegious son of Belial, who suffered from bronchitis, having exhausted his finances, in order to make good the deficit, resolved to ally himself to a comely, lenient, and docile young lady of the Malay or Caucasian race. He accordingly purchased a calliope, and a coral necklace of a chameleon hue, and securing a suite of rooms at a principal hotel, he engaged the head waiter as his coadjutor.
  He then dispatched a letter of the most unexceptionable caligraphy extant, inviting the young lady to a matinee. She revolted at the idea, refused to consider herself sacrificable to his desires, and sent a polite note of refusal, on receiving which he procured a carbine and a bowie-knife, said that he would not forge fetters hymeneal with the queen, went to an isolated spot, severed his jugular-vein, and discharged the contents of his carbine into his body. The debris was removed by the coroner."
  The mistakes are likely to be made on the following words: Sacrilegious, Belial, bronchitis, exhausted, finances, deficit, comely, lenient, docile, Malay, calliope, chameleon, coadjutor, caligraphy, matinee, sacrificable, carbine, hymeneal, isolated, suite, jugular and debris.


HE HAD SEEN THEM.

  He had been talking to the pretty girl from Boston about his observations and experiences in the West.
  "Did you," she inquired, "ever see any of the Indians known as the excavators?"
  "As which -- oh -- er, yes." and he hastened to assure her that he had seen any number of "Diggers."  --Detroit Free Press.


  Place your subscriptions with the Ashland News Stand for any paper or magazine published on earth or anywhere else.
  Hasty will haste to get 'em and save you cost of money order and postage.
[side 3]

JUST ABOUT TO FALL.
Have you seen the happy mother when
  the babe begins to talk?
Have you seen her teach the tiny tangled
  feet the way to walk?
Ever near each slender shoulder, yet so
  feeble and so small,
With her ready hands to hold her, when
  she's just about to fall.

Shut your eyes and you can see her in
  the baby's childhood days,
When the golden gleam of sunset on her
  tangled tresses plays;
And the mother, though grown older,
  still is near enough to call,
With her ready hands to hold her, when
  she's just about to fall.

Now the baby is a woman, and she's
  bending o'er a bed,
Where the spirit from the body of her
  gentle mother fled;
As the lifeless limbs grow colder, "Mother!
  Mother!" hear her call.
But there are no hands to hold her, and
  she's just about to fall.

Launched alone on life's rough ocean, she
  is drifting with the years,
But the voyage is a lonely one, and some-
  times, through her tears
She can seem to see her mother; she can
  almost hear her call.
And by faith she sees another hand to
  hold her should she fall.
Cy Warman.


ALMOST EQUAL TO A MIRACLE.

  A few weeks ago a special Souvenir Bulletin, a complete newspaper, was gotten out at the World s Fair without losing very much time. ''At the moment when the messages were started from their respective points, the type in which they were to be set was molten metal and and were both cast and set up after the receipt of the messages at Machinery hall.
  The actual time consumed on the first Souvenir Bulletin, from starting the messages, making and cutting the paper, casting and setting the type, proofreading putting to press and turning out the finished newspaper, was sixty-three minutes." Think of it -- starting messages from San Francisco and other points in the United States and Europe to be printed in Chicago, the type and paper having to be manufactured after starting the messages, and all in sixty-three minutes!


PUMPKIN PIE.
When "melancholy days" come 'round
  and leaves get brown and red,
When corn is shocked, and when you add
  a blanket to your bed,
When apples, pared and quartered, are
  set in the sun to dry,
This is the time to smack your lips and
  think of pumpkin pie.
This pumpkin pie is a tempting dish to
  almost any fellow,
So sweet and tender, lucious (yum!) and
  then withal so yellow,
You stir up eggs and milk and spice and
  sugar -- oh, my eye!
And then you add the pumpkin, and
  that makes the pumpkin pie.
--Brandon Banner.
LOOK HERE!
Do you want any job printing done at reasonable rates?
  If you do you should not fail to call and examine our work and prices.
All kinds of bill heads, letter heads, envelope heads, name cards, dance tickets and bills.   Also mining notices etc.
[side 4]
TALENT NEWS.

Talent, Or.  November 15th, 1893.
LOCAL ITEMS.

  S. M. Robison returned last Saturday from a week's visit to his daughter, Mrs. Geo. Dewey at Dunsmuir, Cal.

  Fred Dyer has bought an acre of land of Jas. Purves and has a dwelling about completed and will move his family into his new home in a few days.

  M. H. Colman has been laid up for two or three weeks with a painful swelling upon his left arm, which has; the appearance of blood poisoning.

  Mrs. N. E. Bartholomew and Mrs. R. Cole, daughters of H. W. Dyer, returned to Cal. last Friday. Mr. Dyer seems to be recovering.

  Miss. Ollie Purves returned to Dunsmuir yesterday.

  Two carloads of fat hogs were shipped from Talent to San Francisco last Sunday.

  Mrs. Bradley, has been lying very ill for some weeks at the home of her brother J. Terrill of Talent.

  H. L. Whited, the jeweler in Ashland will repair watches, mount gold nuggets, do engraving, in fact any similar work in good shape and quickly too.

  The Talent literary society seems to have made a favorable start for the winter's run. The exercises last Friday evening, which consisted of readings, recitations, songs etc, were very enjoyable. A goodly number were present and much interest manifested. The following officers were elected for the ensuing quarter:
  J. O. Holt, president; Frank Wilcox, vice president; Emma Abbott, secretary; Gertie Purves, treasurer; John Robison, marshal. Next Friday evening the question, "Resolved that dancing as a popular amusement should be discontinued," will be up for debate. A lively discussion is anticipated.

ANOTHER ANSWER TO MATRIMONIAL.
Phoenix, Oregon, 
Nov. 7th 1893. 
Miss. Katie Didd.
       Care Talent news:
Kind Miss. Katie:   
Having seen your 
advertisement in the News I thought it my opportunity to secure a correspondent and perhaps a wife, provided my personality suits.
  I am somewhat over five feet in height and consider myself handsome, although others may not. Was born in December 1685 or 1865. I disremember the date.
  However my age does not infeeble my ambition for a $5000 farm. I can milk cows, feed horses and drive the ducks to the pond and am quite handy with the chopping ax if a goodly pile of wood is already chopped.  Am also considered a good collector. I use no tobacco or stimulents in any way unless it is prescribed.
  I have been converted to the Alliance cause since I read your notice but have not joined yet, but if I get a favorable answer will do so.
Hoping this may be 
favorably received, I am Yours Hopefully,
J. I. C. 
Address the above in care of news.


SCHOOL REPORT.
 
  For the month ending Nov. 3rd. 1893.
  Whole number enrolled, 85.
  Number enrolled during month, 77.
  Number days taught 20.
  Number days attendence, 1248.
  Number days absence, 114.
  The following were neither absent or tardy during the month:
  Walter Garvin, Freddie Rapp, Florence Dyer, Lizzie Netherland, Fannie Beeson, Edward Robison, Leni Netherland, Roy Addison, Della Abbott, Lloyd Allen, Millie Addison, Minnie Nininger, Sadie Nininger and Earnest Van Horn.

  A Roll of pupils who passed the monthly examination with a grade of 80 per cent or more.

GRAMMAR DEPARTMENT,
No. enrolled 36,    J. O. Holt, Teacher,
  Fannie Beeson, 95; Della Robison, 84;
Purl Smith, 88; Edward Robison, 82;
Anna Morris, 81; Florence Dyer, 82;
Freddie Rapp, 81; Oliver Helms, 81;
Burtie Webster, 83; Jay Terrill, 96;
Minnie Robison, 96; Frances Robison, 96;
Vance Wolgamott, 95; Fannie Abbott, 85;
Walter Garvin, 85; Josephine Carlile, 86;
Ella Wolgamott, 87; Cora Jacobs, 82.

PRIMARY DEPARTMENT,
No. enrolled, 38,   Z. R. Cheney, Teacher,
 Leni Netherland, 86; Marion Briner, 91;
Lizzie Wolgamott, 89, Rena Carlile, 89;
Nellie Purves, 91; Clarence Allen, 81;
Katie Beeson, 84; Ola Dunlap, 82; Daisy
Majors, 85; Roy Addison, 85; Dalton
Brophy, 88; Edith Coleman, 84; James
Pellet, 87; Minnie Nininger, 89; Frank
Dunlap, 93; Millie Addison, 87; Frank
Webster, 90; Roy  Purves, 92; Earnest
Van Horn, 89; Sadie Nininger, 92; Lloyd
Allen, 92.

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