When a man discovers himself to be the father of triplets he can hardly believe his own census. --Boston Courier.

  It is truthfully remarked that the tramp probably puts more sole into his profession than many men of even higher aspirations. --Hatchet.

Never mind what's your condition,
Or your self-deported mission --
There's a Cabinet position
   That's a-waiting for your sure!
If the enemy you collared --
If you led the boys or follered
And got hoarse because you hollered,
   Pass your plate and call for more!

If the banner you have toted --
Till the full returns were quoted,
If your great-grandfather voted
   Like a veteran of yore;
When the good news a-telling
And the chorus was a swelling,
If you did a lot of yelling,
   Pass you[r] plate and call for more!

O, our troubles they are over
And we're just knee-deep in clover.
And we're holding on to Grover
   While he's entering the door;
And the rascals with their cheatin' --
They are going out a-skeetin',
Red-hot and still a-beatin' --
   Pass your plate and call for more!

  The legislature of South Carolina has lately passed a law by which the state becomes the dispenser of liquors. A state dispenser is appointed -- and by the way he must be a total abstainer -- who procures, or is supposed to procure, all the liquor used in the state. After carefully inspecting it to see that it contains no henbane, nitric acid or other foreign substances that might blister the mucus membranes of southern throats, he passes it on to sub-dispensers in the large towns so that thirsty people can imbibe at the tune of $3.00 per gallon. The state expects to make a profit of about half a million a year by this taking the saloon business into its own hands. It is said that just as good whiskey can be purchased outside the state for $1.50 per gallon. Of course no one but the state dispenser can import it, but won't there be lots of pleasure trips across the line "to see a friends?" And smuggling? Well somewhat.

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  We regret to say that several residents in this vicinity have found it necessary to post trespass notices. They propose as far as their premises are concerned to put a stop to careless shooting and other lawless acts on the part of boys and other who seem to have so much leisure time.

  Only the other day as the little daughter of Joseph Robison was on her way to a neighbor's, some one fired a gun a short distance away the bullet striking in the road a few feet in front of her. Several instances of like nature have happened about here of late and it is time that such careless work was stopped. A sportsman who exercises common sense will not shoot without considering what may be beyond the object aimed at.

  Devil-may-care boys or other persons should not be allowed to hunt where shooting at random may result in harm.

  We are told that those who have put up these notices mean business.

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Baptist Church -- Baptist services will be held on the 2nd and 4th Sundays in each month, morning and evening; Rev. A. J. Stevens, pastor.

Methodist services on the 1st and 3rd Sundays, morning and evening; Rev. Dr. Kahler, pastor.

Endeavor Society every Sunday evening;
Bible class and prayer meeting Thursday evening of each week.

Dunkard Church -- Services on the 1st and 3rd Sundays of each month, morning and evening, Rev. David Brower, pastor.

[side 3]

She went around and ask subscriptions,
For the heathen black Egyptians
And the Terra del Fuegians,
   She did:
For the tribes round Athabasca,
And the men of Madagascar,
And the poor souls of Alaska.
   So she did;
She longed, she said, to buy
Jellie cake and jam and pie
For the Anthropophagi,
   So she did.
Her heart ached for the Australians,
And the Borribobooli-Ghalians,
And the poor, dear Amahaggar,
   Yes it did;
And she loved the poor Numidian,
And the ebon Abyssinian,
And the charcoal colored Guinean,
   Oh, she did!
And she said she'd cross the seas
With a ship of bread and cheese
For those starving Chimpanzees,
   Sure, she did.
How she loved the cold Norwegian
And the poor, half-melted Fejeean,
And the dear Molucca Islander,
   She did;
She sent pie and canned tomato
To the tribes beyond the equator
But her husband eat potato,
So he did;
The poor helpless, homeless thing
(My voice falters as I sing)
Tied his clothes up with a string,
   Yes he did.--Judge.

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  The Oregon Independent is one of the most readable papers that comes to this office. Its chosen mission is to expose to the public gaze the rottenness which, it alleges, prevails about official headquarters in this state. It has good backing and plenty of nerve, and if fat officials don't wince under its blows it is because they are too fat to be hurt. Either this bold journal is likely to get the worse of a half-dozen or more libel suits, or official corruption in this state has assumed alarming proportions.  Thus far, however, there is no hint that any such suit will be brought yet if high functionaries about Salem are all O. K., it would seem that they would defend their good name against such mild impeachments
as the following in the June 23:
  "Our investigations into the different legal departments of this state have led us to believe that there are few, if any honest officers among the people.   We are prepared to show how utterly unscrupulous are many of those whom the people have trusted and given high official positions; how state officers have contrived to rob while taxpayers slept and by aid of certain legislative enactments obtained seemingly innocent privileges which pave them opportunity to plunder without being suspected. We are prepared to prove that Oregon is today one of the worst governed of all states in the union and that there is hardly a department
which does not add a full quoto to the general pilfering."
  In showing up the management of the state penitentiary, it introduces facts and figures to prove that Geo. S. Downing, the superintendent, is looking after No. 1 in a manner that would hardly commend itself to the taxpayers of the state. After charging him with the meanest kind of pilfering, it throws down the gauntlet in this wise:--
  "Now we request Mr. Downing to commence action against us for libel.   If he is innocent, the courts will vindicate him. 
  This thing of posing as a martyr, like  the emotional insanity dodge, has been practiced too long and has no good effect upon the public; it is not convincing. The time was when a public man could assume the injured, impassive expression found only on the faces of mules and martyrs and ignore the attacks of news-papers; but, we repeat, that day is gone.  Mr. Downing must either sue us for libel and make it stick or else stand convicted before the people of charges we have preferred against him."
  The taxpayers of Oregon would do well to give the Independent a generous support.

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What is it that makes everybody sick but those who swallow it? Answer: Flattery.

Pray tell me, ladies, if you can,
Who is that highly favored man,
Who, though he's married many a wife,
May be a bachelor all his life?

Ans.: A clergyman.

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[side 4]

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  Talent, July 9th, 1893 -- The 4th of July brought forth an event that was eagerly looked forward to by the sporting element of our town, and indeed a goodly number of the more sedate took a lively interest in the affair.  It seems that while our great National Day was being celebrated in a certain grove not a hundred miles from Talent, two young, modern Lothario's of athletic appearance and noble mein had a slight difficulty about the affections of a certain dark-eyed maiden and repaired at once to a secluded spot to argue forcibly.  With stern countenances and set lips they belabored each other until some one in a smothered tone cried "nough." From the tumult a-bout there I cannot say which one it was, but it was decided, that a day be set so that they might finish the combat to their satisfaction, the victor to pay his respects to his lady-love every Sunday instead of every other Sunday; the second best -- well, he could go fishing. The day. was set and that glorious 4th of July sun went down mid many mutterings and defiant ejaculations.  The day ever memorable in the annals of Talent, came at last; the sky was overcast with clouds and an ague chill pervaded the atmosphere. The wind blustered, around corners, causing fitful little whirl-winds here and there. One by one stragglers would gather about the store and talk about common-place matters, then relapse into low undertones that seemed decidedly mysterious. Every thing was unusual.
  Mystery prevaded the air. Later there was quite a gathering about the store -- a motly group of all ages and sizes from the everlasting small boy to the "stranger within the gates." All at once there was a stir; some one hailed from the R. R. track and then the multitude of sports and spectators wended their way along the road in the direction of the grove where the preliminary engagement took place. The mystery was solved.  The two gladiators of  the 4th were going to do combat. Each was in the crowd with his little group of admirers around him.
  Trainers were rapidly giving final instructions and seconds were offering suggestions illustrated by queer gesticulations of arms, legs etc. Yes, the hour had come when our hero. would walk from the field of combat, victory flashing in his eye and every step full of pride and grace.
  The other -- as I said. Could go a-fishing.
  On the field of battle a few temporary seats were arranged; quite a crowd had gathered, anticipating the great event several hours. A circle was formed; all was silent for a moment, save the murmuring of the wind among the pine tops, when suddenly one of the gladiators stepped trippingly into the ring and gave a low bow mid wild applause. Then the other entered and was as enthusiastically applauded on his side.  The combatants took seats while a referee was selected; also a time keeper. When all was in readiness the word was given and they both toed the scratch. Ah! what maiden would not cherish the affections of either of these two heroes? What family would not be proud of such as these; their manly forms straightened to fullest extent, each brow clearly profiled and the expression of victory hovering about their chiseled lips. But which would it be?
  With a lightning feint one is upon the other with a mad rush. With a graceful move the other makes a Corbett dodge and his adversary's blow glances harmlessly over his shoulder. The same rush is tried again but is met with a powerful right-hander that would have fell an ox.
  Now blows rain fast and furious -- Ah! one is apparently losing ground; the other is upon him, but the stentorian voice of the time-keeper is heard to call "Time," and they once more resume their seats mid plaudits innumerable. During the two-minute rest, big bets are made and coins of all sizes are in sight all around. All are excited.  Strong men are flushed and smaller ones hold their peace. Time is called; again they go at it like two tigers, their eyes glaring and nostrils dilated. It is give and take until blood flows like water. Many spectators are frenzied at the sight and turn away.  Again they take their seats badly used up but still confident. There is a perfect Babel all around, the friends of each giving encouragement and advice in an exalted manner.
  Third and last round: They fight like madmen, hammer and tongs, blow for blow.  One staggers; a deadly silence prevails while with bated breath the crowd wait for the coup de grace. But it never came for the referee stepped in and his timely interference saved our would-be hero from disgrace.  One more blow would have settled it but he was hors de com-bat and more bloodshed would be brutal. It was decided, however, after lengthy consultation, that on account of some remote relation-ship the affair should be called a draw and all bets were declared off.   Every one knew, though, who was the real victor.   He knew it, too, and strutted like a peacock at a fair, with a wake of admiring small boys. The hero and unconquered lover made his way to the home of his adored only to be received by the bulldog -- she was out with "another feller'"
  So things go in Talent. But let us hope that "all's well that ends well."   Riley.

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[side 5]


  Geo. Helms returned to California last Sunday after a week's visit to relatives in Talent.

  Mrs. S. M. Robison went to Dunsmuir on the 1st to visit her daughter. Mrs. Geo. Dewey. She returned on the 6th.

  John Abbott, Z. P. Webster, and their families and several other Wagner creek-ers took in Jacksonville on the fourth.

  Jas. Purves and wife spent several days, including the Fourth, at Dunsmuir visiting their daughter Ollie.

  "Big Jim" Briner and M. H. Coleman start into the mountains next Monday on a month's prospecting tour.

  B. C. Goddard, Mr. and Mrs. W. J. Dean, Mr. and Mrs. M. H. Coleman and daughter Edith drank soda water at Cole-stein's on the Fourth.

  Mr. J. Davison has purchased a Buffalo Pitta threshing machine and will be ready to thresh grain in this part of the valley this season.

  It now seems probable that the main exhibits at the World's Fair will be moved to San Francisco next winter. If so, perhaps we Wagner creekers can take a peep at the big show.

  SEE HERE! If any one should ask you where he could get good furniture cheap, tell him at Weeks bros. Phoenix or Medford. Their work is done by their own hands and is the finest to be found.

  One day this week Mrs. Jas. Reams discovered a "mountain sheep" cooly prowling a-bout her garden. She didn't propose to be run-over by any wild animal so long as there was a gun in the house and -- well, we hear that the Reams family have been luxuriating  on most delicious steaks ever since.

  Arthur Abbott and Gust Edlund came in from Pokegama to spend the fourth. They started back last Monday, accompanied by Luella Sherman who has been engaged to assist in the boarding house at the logging camp.

  Mrs. Wilson, mother of Mrs. J. Foss, is up from California and will spend the summer at her daughter's. She brought with her a basket full of delicious fresh figs, a sample of which found their way  to this office. They were way-up.
    
  Bertha Wilcox has been very low for several weeks with inflammatory rheumatism accompanied with that painful and most vexatious malady, St. Vitus dance.

She is new slowly recovering.  The family has been singularly unfortunate during the spring and summer, as all except Mr. Wilcox have suffered a serious illness.

The Alliance picnic at Beeson's grove on the 4th was opened by music on the fife and drums; then followed the forenoon programme: Song, "My Country," remarks by W. H. Breese, reading declaration of Independence by Mrs. W. H. Breese, recitations by  Ella Stevens, Fannie Beeson, Nellie Foss, Lottie Colby and Grace Payne, Song by glee club, remarks by A. S. Barnes, instrumental music by Jessie Beeson; remarks by D. H. Hawkins, recitation by Elsie Colby, reading by E. E. Deming.


  Music on the fife and drums, speeches by Gen. E. L. Applegate, Frank Williams and Ira Wakefield, also a dance a the grounds and one in the hall in the evening.

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  July 4th, to the wife of J. C. Allen, Talent, a son -- 10 pounds. That boy can boast that his birthday will always be celebrated by all the people of America.

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